Birth Story

Why do women enjoy reading birth stories so much?  Is it because we like to commiserate?  Are they really just that fascinating?  Regardless, here are the details of my baby's birth.  We'll call him TJ :)

TJ was in a breech position from about 30 weeks on.  His head was between my ribs, his bum in my pelvis, and his feet straight up kicking my ribs.  I tried everything I could find to get him to turn.  I stood on my head.  I sat in a warm bath with ice on his head.  I cleaned my entire apartment's floors on my hands and knees.  I propped my bum in the air with pillows every night.  Nothing worked!  At about 36 weeks as a c-section was looming nearer, I looked into going to a chiropractor.  I went a couple of times with no success.  As a last resort, my doctor gave me the option of doing an external cephalic version.  She said it hurts, has a 6% chance of complications with the baby, and has a 50% success rate.  I could NOT decide what to do.  I really did not want a c-section so I wanted to try everything I could not to have one, but everyone I talked to who had experience with the procedure said it hadn't worked for them.  Discussion boards online weren't very encouraging either.  In the end, I decided to give it a try.  I didn't want to wonder "what if."  But that doesn't mean I didn't cry the whole night before wondering if I had made the right decision.

I went in on Saturday morning at about 37 weeks.  They started an IV and hooked me up to monitors.  My doctor came in and said I was having a few contractions and asked if I could feel them.  I could, but they weren't too bad.  (In retrospect, I'm pretty sure I was losing my mucus plug that day too.)  They decided to wait a little to see if the contractions progressed.  They didn't, so they decided to go ahead with the version.  It only lasted about 15 minutes.  Basically, two doctors dig their fingers into your belly and try to push the baby around.  One was on the head, the other on the bum.  He was already into my pelvis a little, so they tried to push him out and around.  They were putting all of their weight into my body to try to force him around.  They took a break often to check the baby's heart rate and he was doing fine.  Scott stood by me and I squeezed his hand really hard!  Yes, it hurt!  It didn't work, and I wasn't surprised.  I don't think I really expected it to.  But I was relieved because I officially tried everything, even though my belly was bruised!  My doctor came in and discussed a date for a scheduled c-section in a few weeks and left.  We thought we would be leaving soon too, but I continued to have some contractions so they decided to monitor me for a while.  The contractions were about five minutes apart, but not very painful.  I was dilated to a two and not progressing.  Eventually they gave me some medicine they give to stop pre-term labor and the contractions stopped, so after a long nap they fed me some food and sent us home around 6 PM.  We were very relieved the contractions stopped.  We both agreed we were NOT ready for the baby to come!  That night we got a milkshake and Chinese take-out and tried to go to the drive-in movie, but it was too crowded so we went home and I fell asleep early.  That turned out to be a very good thing!

On Sunday morning, I woke up at 4:30 AM with a contraction and a small gush of water.  I was pretty sure my water had broken, but I wanted to be sure before I woke Scott.  So I did the logical next step of doing the dishes.  I never got to the "nesting" point of my pregnancy, so I guess the hormones kicked in so I could nest even if it was only for a few minutes!  As I was doing the dishes, it became quite clear that my water had indeed broken (don't worry, I was smart enough to put a pad on).  But still, I thought I should let Scott get some sleep since the next few days would be hard on him.  Don't ask me how I became so selfless all of the sudden.  After a few more minutes, however, I decided it was probably smart for him to get up and get some things together.  The doctors had told me to come right in if my water broke since I would need a c-section.  His first comment was, "Oh dang, I wanted to cut my hair."  So what did he do?  Yes, he cut his hair and showered while I finished the dishes so we would come home to a clean(ish) house.  Finally I began to get a sense of urgency, especially because the hospital was a half-hour away.  Scott decided to compensate for lost time by driving ** on the empty freeway.  (At least it's only two asterisks!)  I think he had been dreaming of this moment for a while :)  We couldn't believe this was the day we would get to meet our baby.  We weren't expecting him for at least a few more weeks!

We got to the hospital at about 5:30 AM.  By this time I started having contractions that were painful.  By the time they got me checked in and dressed, I was having pretty frequent, intense contractions.  I had now dilated to a three.  For two hours, I got to experience natural labor while the doctors and nurses changed shifts and prepared the operating room.  Props to everyone who has delivered vaginally!  My body was shaking, I was throwing up during contractions, and the nurses wouldn't let me off my back in the bed to do any positions I had learned in my childbirth class.  I would have fought them more if I hadn't known I only had to handle it for a while more before it was over.  In the midst of this, I was being consented and signing papers for all sorts of things.  I could have signed away my child and I wouldn't have known.  Finally, they wheeled me to the operating room.  They made Scott wait outside while they prepared me for surgery.  The anesthesia was just a numbing shot and another shot with the medication.  It wasn't bad at all, although he did have to try a few times.  Then they laid me down on my back and over the next couple of minutes, the pain went away.  It was a very strange sensation because I could feel that I had toes, but I couldn't move them.  I had to consciously try not to think about it because it made me feel very uneasy.  They put a sheet up and let Scott in.  It felt like people were pushing my belly every which way really hard.  I told Scott not to describe anything to me!  He was trying to watch and they made him sit down because so many men have passed out.  I was afraid he was going to get kicked out so I made him sit down.  After several minutes, the anesthesiologist looked over and said, "I see his legs!"  He then told Scott to stand up and he got to watch them pull TJ out!  They tried to hold him over for me to see, but all I could see was a bloody forehead.  If I'm being honest, I really didn't feel any sort of connection.  They could have held any baby over that thing.  I hadn't really done anything to make him come out, and I really wasn't expecting him so soon.  It was all very surreal.  They checked him out and everything was good, so they laid him across my chest for skin to skin time while they stitched me up.  I still couldn't see his face because he was basically on my neck because there wasn't much room before the sheet.  Then they took him away to the nursery for a bath.  Scott stayed with me.

We went to a recovery room until I could wiggle my toes, then to a nice room where the baby, Scott, and I would stay for several days.  I can't say that I loved being in the hospital for that long, but I do have fond memories of that room.  Over the five days we stayed there, I began to love TJ and also to love Scott even more.  He changed every diaper since I couldn't even get out of bed, helped me learn to breastfeed, and learned everything else about a newborn baby right along with me.  Multiple nurses commented on what a great team we were.  Those first few days were magical, which is really saying something considering I had just had major abdominal surgery.  The first night when I tried to stand up with the help of both Scott and the nurse, I almost passed out.  I thought, "How do people ever decide to do this again?!"  The next day I walked to the door of the room and back.  Gradually, though, it got better.  By one week I could get in and out of the car (although not drive) and walk around slowly.  Two months later, I definitely am not 100%, but am getting there.

There's so much more I could write about how we basically chose his name spur of the moment after they gave us a half-hour deadline, or how my mom came and cleaned our entire apartment so it would be clean when we brought TJ home.  But this is already the longest blog post I've ever written and ever hope to write, so I think I'll stop here.

I love being a mom and I have grown to love TJ so much.  I honestly never felt a huge connection with him while I was pregnant.  I just felt sick and lazy.  But now that he's here I've had a fun time getting to know him.  My whole life really has changed.  I wondered many times during my pregnancy if I was ready for that change, but now I am so thankful to have him in our family!

Our first family photo

Going home